Transitions

The past few years have been a WILD RIDE of sacrifice, beauty and so much LEARNING.

I became a mother in 2017. The journey was beautiful and messy. I honestly thought that life would go on once I had Elliot. I was so wrong. I tried to make it work, and it didn’t. Motherhood is misunderstood until it happens. It changed my in countless ways, good and bad, exposing my faults, strengths, and weaknesses.

Motherhood is the soul’s mirror.

For almost 10 years, I worked in advertising. The industry is relentless. It requires dedication with long hours, late nights, hard deadlines, weekend emails, and the city life. From the moment I started my first job in the industry, I knew it was the wrong path for me. I struggled to sit in a desk all day, commute and keep up the pace. I met some of my best friends, and I had a lot of fun some days, but I look back and realize that I was seriously stressed trying to find passion and purpose. I didn’t realize that my life’s work would come in the form of a baby, but even after having Elliot, I continued on, trying to make it work while taking care of a high needs, high energy boy. I was so exhausted doing both.

One sleepless night, I prayed as I often do before going to sleep. I asked God to finally answer a 10-year question. How was I supposed to stay in advertising and take care of Elliot? A few weeks later, I discovered that I was pregnant with my second son. Miles’ birth lead me to a lot of change in my life so I could stay home with the boys. He was my answer.

I often revisit my old journals. There are pages upon pages of uncertainty and pain knowing that I wanted to live a path more fulfilling.

The last few years have been spent raising two boys. The days are long and challenging, but the slow days of seeing life through their eyes has been so life changing. The simplicity of motherhood feels right. My heart is finally full.

Being a mother to young boys hasn’t left me much time to create. I have a lot of unfinished projects and few finished projects that have never been documented. I wouldn’t change it, though I’m ready to get back to my creative work through writing and creating. I recently learned to sew. Making clothes for myself is so fulfilling. Still, I continue to dream of the life I want to live with my family and how I’d like my kids to grow up. It’s a life that’s simple and removed from the day-to-day shuffle — the “shoulds” created by others.

I’m still very much in transition, but I see the light. With so much censorship on social media, my goal is to spend more time here writing and sharing. Do people read blogs anymore? I don’t know, but I’m doing it for me this time.

Stay tuned for new projects, exploring different career paths, and moving towards a life of simplicity and self-sufficiency. I hope you’ll join me!

P.S. - The above photo is from my film camera. Can you believe the beauty? I am a total newbie.