The Art of Beginning
Just let go. It's harder said than done. I'm a dreamer. I like to think instead of take action. I recently found old notebooks with the same thing written that I'd jotted down just a few days ago.
"Work for myself. Open a shop. Be my own boss. Quit living in fear."
Scary, huh? Each time I make a discovery like that, I stop and realize that I've been trying to accomplish something for most of my adult life and it hasn't happened yet. Why? Life happens...things you don't expect, little detours along the way, mistakes, accomplishments, bad decisions. Some of them are justified and some just excuses. I'm a creature of habit, I like the comfort of a routine. I like the safety of knowing where my next paycheck is coming from. I'm scared to leave that behind, but I know I have to do it to advance as an entrepreneur. Taking a leap of faith is something I'm still fighting to overcome.
That's not all. I'm a perfectionist. I critique my own work, comparing it to others. Is that Instagram photo perfectly styled? What's the aesthetic of my feed? Can I write this blog post better if I just sleep on it. All of these things prevent me from putting myself and my work out there, which is why I've been in the exact same position for years. I'm ready for a change.
I went to a pop-up event put on by Pinterest and Handmade Charlotte over the weekend. One of my good friends works for Handmade Charlotte and is one half of the awesome design team behind Mad & Dusty. As she was introducing me to everyone, I was surprised to hear her mention my craft of spinning yarn and knitting. In my mind, I was panicking. My craft is not near ready to share with people. I don't even have a logo or a business card. I was clearly unprepared, but surprised to hear that people were actually interested in hearing more. I'd never thought to own my craft. What I learned (with a lot of help from Madison) is that instead of identifying with my day job, which is totally part of me, but doesn't define me, I really need to learn the story of what I'm trying to accomplish and totally own it. If I don't believe in myself, I can't progress as an artist. The whole thing was eye opening. I'm so glad my friend and others believes in me as much as I do! So inspiring.
“Every single thing that has happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.”
What does this bring me to? Well, I'm slowly learning the art of beginning. I'm learning to let go (my mantra for the year), excited for things to come and don't want another year to go by without something big happening like finally opening an Etsy store and seeing where it takes me. I might be surprised...a few people might buy my yarn.
If I don't do it, I'll never know.